When someone opens up about their struggles, especially women juggling multiple roles, our first instinct is to help. Often, that help comes in the form of advice, “You should try this,” “This worked for me,” or “Just do what I did.”
But here’s the uncomfortable truth: Advice, no matter how well-intentioned, is not always one-size-fits-all.
As women, we share. We support. We uplift. But somewhere along the way, we may forget that what worked in our life may not translate to someone else’s.
This article explores the complexity behind advice, why it doesn’t always work, and how both giving and receiving it can be done more mindfully. Along the way, we’ll look at real-life scenarios, questions women are asking every day, and how to shift from “fixing” to “understanding.”
🔍 Why Do We Love Giving Advice?
Advice feels empowering. It allows us to connect through experience, to say: “I’ve been there, and I survived. So can you.”
But as author Cheryl Strayed once said in her book Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar:
“There’s a difference between giving advice and holding space.”
Too often, we rush into the former and forget the latter.
📌 Real-Life Scenario: The “Me Time” Dilemma
Let’s take a common example: a woman says she’s struggling to find “me time.” She’s overwhelmed, tired, maybe even burned out.
Cue the advice:
- “Wake up an hour earlier.”
- “Just set better boundaries.”
- “You need to prioritize yourself.”
All great advice. But is it her reality?
👉 What if she’s caring for a newborn who wakes every two hours?
👉 What if she’s managing a full-time job and caring for aging parents?
👉 What if she has no support system, no help, and no space to breathe?
It’s easy to forget that the solutions that work in our lives come from our own unique circumstances. My “me time” exists because my children are grown and I have an incredibly supportive partner. That’s a privilege, not a universal standard.
❓Common Advice-Driven Questions Women Are Asking Online
These real search phrases are a goldmine for understanding where women are coming from:
- How do I find time for myself as a working mom?
- What to do when advice doesn’t work for me?
- How to deal with conflicting advice from others?
- Why do I feel worse after taking someone’s advice?
These queries are not just about productivity hacks. They’re a quiet plea for tailored understanding.
📚 A Look at the Research
In the book The Paradox of Choice: Why More Is Less by Barry Schwartz, the author discusses how too many options can actually lead to anxiety, not empowerment. The same applies to advice. When someone is already overwhelmed, a flood of suggestions can make them feel even more inadequate, like they’re failing at your solution, too.
Another valuable read, Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily Nagoski, Ph.D., and Amelia Nagoski, D.M.A., emphasizes that women are often expected to be resilient and adaptable — but not every coping mechanism fits every woman’s life.
💡 So What Can We Do Differently?
Whether you’re the one offering support or the one seeking it, here are a few mindset shifts that can help:
🎧 1. Listen More, Fix Less
Before diving into what you would do, pause. Ask open-ended questions:
- “What do you feel like you need most right now?”
- “What’s the biggest challenge in making time for yourself?”
- “What kind of support would feel helpful — listening, brainstorming, or just venting?”
🧩 2. Acknowledge the Individual Puzzle
Every woman’s life is a different mix of moving pieces — career, kids, caregiving, health, finances, cultural expectations. Solutions must fit her puzzle, not yours.
🪞 3. Reflect Before Accepting Advice
If you’re the one receiving advice, ask yourself:
- “Does this align with my current reality?”
- “Do I truly believe in this approach?”
- “Is this something I can try without guilt if it doesn’t work?”
Advice isn’t an obligation. It’s an option.
🤝 Moving From “Advice” to “Empathy”
Imagine a world where women support each other not just with tips and tricks, but with patience, empathy, and curiosity.
A world where we say,
“I hear you,” before “Here’s what to do.”
“I see your reality,” before “This worked for me.”
That shift can create deeper trust, more authentic connections, and less pressure to be a “superwoman” following someone else’s playbook.
Final Thought: Take What Serves You, Leave the Rest
At the end of the day, advice is like a buffet — take what serves you and leave the rest behind without guilt.
Let’s normalize saying:
“That worked great for you, but I’m in a different season of life.”
Or: “I love that idea, and I might adapt it to what’s realistic for me.”
Because no, advice is not one-size-fits-all. And that’s perfectly okay.
We’d Love to Hear From You:
💬 What’s the best (or worst) advice you’ve ever received?
💬 Have you ever felt like someone’s advice missed your reality?
💬 How do you decide which advice is worth following?
Drop your thoughts in the comments or share this with someone who might need to hear: “Your path is your own. And that’s more than enough.”
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