This world is full of stories… mine, yours, ours…
What makes mine unique? What makes my story any different from yours? Maybe it isn’t that different after all. You catch any random Indian woman and ask her about her struggles and her life, she will have so much to talk about. Now, for the next few paragraphs, I become that woman and this is my story.
Hi, I am Dr. Soumya Bharathi. I am an Oral Surgeon by profession and a writer by passion. When I look back at 4 decades of my life and see what is unique to me, I see a girl/woman who has always listened to her heart; what that means is many times in my life, I have taken decisions relying on my instincts and not based on societal expectations or conventional norms. I was the first person in my entire family to take up BDS, so I was ecstatic when I got a government college seat. 5 years were full of learnings and I began to dream of post graduation.
But life had other plans. I got married out of the blue at the age of 22! It was an arranged marriage, but with absolutely no parental pressure. In fact, my parents weren’t even looking for prospective grooms. My husband’s alliance was passed on by a family friend so my parents took my permission and called them. I definitely sensed a connection with my would-be husband and I thought to myself, if I let this go, it would be a mistake because who knows, it might never happen again!! I knew I was stepping into marriage too early, but as always I listened to my heart and said yes, but not without thinking that I had to do my post-graduation with added responsibilities.
Medical and Dental post-graduation entrance exams in India aren’t easy. They require 10-12 hours studies for nearly a year and here I was, trying to clear them after marriage. I missed securing a seat for two years and the third year I was pregnant. I took a break from studies for a year and started trying again after my child turned one. Time became a huge constraint but I devised my own ways to tackle the problem. I studied when nursing my baby, listened to audio lectures while cooking and devised ways to get back to my books while doing household chores. The stress was getting to me both physically and mentally. I suffered from post-partum depression, had a slipped lumbar disc which made me bed-ridden for a month, developed strange muscular spasms in my shoulders and had sleep problems. Slowly I felt that my life was spiralling out of my control…
But what saved me from this rabbit-hole were self-help books and videos. I started writing a gratitude journal and began my day with a positive thoughts book. I had to plan my day carefully so that I could take care of my child, do household chores and also manage to study seriously. Gradually, my health improved. I spoke to the nearby Engineering college to use their library, so that I could get away from home for a few hours for dedicated studies. Finally, that year, I managed to crack the entrance exams and procure a seat, but in a different city.
But there was a surprise there too. I had to choose between MDS in a non-clinical subject and PG-Diploma in my favourite subject – Oral and Maxillofacial Surgery. As usual I listened to my heart and chose the latter, surprising the staff and my batchmates by my unusual choice. This also meant that I had chosen a subject with emergencies, night duties and holiday postings. Thankfully, my parents moved with me and my child and supported my education and my husband and in-laws provided a lot of moral support. Yet, there were days when I had to take my 3 year old to college or hospital wards and leave him for a while with nurses while I attended to my patients.( Most of the female doctors in our country do this, so it is not so uncommon). But managing a family, kid, studies and work meant that I had to micromanage every minute of the day and I learnt this skill with time.
Two years went by in a flash and I came back armed with my degree and renewed energy to work. After working for two years in dental clinics I decided to have a second child. I also decided to take a conscious break from work and concentrate on my newborn and my much neglected passion- Writing.
I had been a writer since my childhood. Throughout my school and college days, I wrote poems, articles and stories but never tried to publish them. But internet introduced me to the world of blogging and I wanted to try my hand at it. My maternity-break seemed like a perfect time to try it out even though I had blogged a couple of times before that. I started with parenting blogs and poems initially, then graduated to fiction and movie and book reviews. I read a lot of work by fellow writers and tried to hone my writing skills. Encouraged by positive readers’ response that my work got, I began to write books(short story and poetry collections). I self-published my first book in 2019, completely on my own. It was a huge learning experience to do everything , be it editing, book cover design or publishing on my own without any guidance or help. But I believe that there is no skill in the world that cannot be learnt, if one puts their heart and mind to it. Be it the craft of writing fiction or the strategy of marketing your book, every skill gets better with practice and time. I have so far self-published three books and written for many websites.
So I was in a happy space with my children and writing but the vacuum left by absence of surgery was somewhere nagging in my mind. About 2 years back, I restarted my clinical practice but it still needs a little more of my time and energy to get going full throttle. Meanwhile, my writing career too is enticing and I look forward to new opportunities and experiences in both my chosen fields in years to come…
My graduation, marriage, motherhood, post-graduation and work have all thought me that there is no need to follow societal norms. There is no age bar to learning, falling in love, making a commitment or embracing parenthood. All that I had was a very loving and an extremely supportive family. What matters is just this question- What is it that makes you happy? I have no regrets in life because I have always followed my heart and it has always led me to happiness sooner or later…
Here are the links to my books:
https://www.amazon.in/s?i=digital-text&rh=p_27%3ASoumya++Bharathi&s=relevancerank&text=Soumya++Bharathi&ref=dp_byline_sr_ebooks_1
https://notionpress.com/read/tales-from-moonlit-hearts
